Torment (2013)

“Family is forever.”

Barns. Isolated cottages. The outdoors. Stuffed animals. Step parents. …Families.

Me? I find all this stuff creepy.

Now a spooky new Canadian horror film,  Torment, has gone and made that worse.

So much worse. Thank you so much, Jordan Barker.

After two near heart attacks, and a film moment that left Hacker Renders convulsing rather convincingly in his recliner (turns out he was fine … physically), I am ready to write my review.

Here goes.

…I’m also scared of garden shears. Right… almost that forgot just now.

Come to think of it: Did I lock up the garden shears before I came in to write this? Or are they outside? Wheeze, wheeze.

Torment takes a spattered page from films like 2007 Funny Games – setting up a nice little ‘no one to hear you scream’ story of a troubled blended family (are there any other kind?) on vacation in an isolated cabin in the woods.

This blended family is made up by some CanCon royalty. Robin Dunne (Sanctuary) and Katharine Isabelle (Ginger Snaps) play the uneasy daddy and mommy to Peter DaCunha, who notably also plays Rick Mercer’s son on The Rick Mercer Report. Bona fide CanCon royalty, all.

The involvement of Katharine Isabelle, whom I love as the eponymous Ginger in the glorious, bloody fur-flying Ginger Snaps, was what drew to the me to this flick. The next lure was Stephen McHattie (A History of Violence and Little Bit Zombie …Tactical bacon!). Goodness, I love these actors.

Neither actor disappointed. Nor did this film – it is a gasping, frantic sprint through the deep, dark woods. The action moved at the sort of pace I hope to achieve if I’m ever being chased by a psychotic in a night dress. Torment is a moodily lit, crackling 90 minutes of  hide and seek, and survival horror.

I was pleased to see Katharine Isabelle kick some serious Texas Chain Saw Massacre-meets-The Waltons ass. She goes from simpering newlywed worried about the stepkid liking her *yawn*, to yanking a rusty nail out of her own foot, making field dressings out of t-shirts and gnawing her way out of bondage.

Ms. Isabelle brought the she-wolfy goodness.

Creeps. Sudden frights. Graphic foot injuries. And instilling an abiding fear about leaving your gardening tools lying around unattended in the front yard – Torment delivers. Chock full of CanCon goodness and worth a watch.

Check it out – on DVD and Video on Demand June 10, 2014.