Skip to content

Month in Review: January 2011

by on 2011/01/31

Hacker Renders is right. January was a busy month.  So very busy… In fact, if anyone is reading this, I am so very tired. When Mr. Renders says exhaustive, he means exhaustive.  In fact, Mr. Renders won’t let…me…stop. *Cough.*

Just kidding. This was a key month for to right various mortal sins of omission. First of all, there was a criminally low level of vampire film reviews on the site, something I corrected this January several times over.

This is my personal goth highlight reel of “fives:” favourites, surprises, disappointments, and least-liked, as well as the movie I’d most like to see based on the recommendation of our relentless Mr. Renders.

Favourite Film:
From Dusk Till Dawn (1996)

“The gross-out special effects abound but there are still moments of genuine suspense, humour and poignancy in this strip club spatterfest. A great, ecstatic blur of blood and other viscous substances, From Dusk Till Dawn is damned entertaining. In fact, the entire series –  From Dusk Till Dawn 2: Texas Blood Money (1999) and From Dusk Till Dawn 3: The Hangman’s Daughter (2000) – is an owner. I’ve got them all and you should too.”

Man, I love this movie.

Greatest Surprise:
The Terminator (1984)

“Discount his terrible hairdo.  Overlook his hairless brow ridge.  Ignore the primitive mannequin.  Schwarzenegger’s greatest asset is not his delivery of “I’ll be back”, but rather a deliberate, mute menace.  Biehn plays Reese with a shell-shocked mania, and Hamilton channels a suffering skeptic, yet neither quite matches his intensity.  Only their terrible hair poses any kind of threat.”

It really holds up. But H. R. was so right about the hair.

Most Disappointing:
Highlander (1986)

“I don’t believe this effort represents an inability to execute properly a promising idea, but the filtering of that idea through an oddly incongruous sensibility.  There’s a reason it’s a cult hit:  it could never be anything else.  Its fans forgive it despite itself. What is Highlander, then? An inexplicably endearing mess.”

Least Liked:
Batman (1989)

“Jack Nicholson’s Joker is to Heath Ledger’s Joker as Gargamel is to Kevin Spacey in Se7en (1995). Nicholson is a walking, talking cartoon with all of the depth of an oil-slicked sidewalk puddle. I wrote this sentence after learning that Nicholson commanded a towering salary and a cut of the box office credits for Batman.”

You know, I liked just about everything I reviewed this month but if I had to pick, Mr. Nicholson gets my nod.

Show Me:
Starship Troopers (1997)

“For my money, Starship Troopers delivered long ago what Star Trek (2009) just recently promised:  an “academy” experience in a science fiction future.  If the two properties seem to occupy vastly different wings of the political spectrum, Troopers only does so in service to satire.  As much as I love Trek, this work is deeper.  With its interesting character dynamics and exemplary production values, the casual viewer could be forgiven for enjoying it too much.”

  1. Hacker Renders permalink

    Relentless? Won’t let you stop?

    Ridiculous. You signed up for this tour of duty, now quit your griping.

    P.S. Where are the reviews for Conan, Harry Potter, and Night of the Living Dead? Get on with it!

    P.P.S. Jonah Hex isn’t the first in a series.

  2. Bloody Peasant permalink

    Ah, now we see the violence inherent in the system. Help, help, I’m being repressed!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: