The Crow: Wicked Prayer (2005)

“I now pronounce you, devil and his shorty.”

* *

Of Dennis Hopper, I mourn.

Mr. Hopper, you were the man. When someone needed a “tortured maniac,” you were there. Unsettling, complicated, terrifying. Your menace oozed right out of the screen. Easy Rider, Apocalypse Now, River’s Edge, Land of the Dead, yes even Waterworld.

I watched in fascinated horror as you portrayed gas-masked, screaming Frank Booth in Blue Velvet. You might even be the reason that I followed David Lynch wherever he may go to this day. I even watched Mr. Lynch cook quinoa in his kitchen via streaming video.

Dennis Hopper, you deserved better than your part in The Crow: Wicked Prayer.  I so love The Crow franchise, I’ve said so on this site. The first in the film series continues to be a touchstone of my film collection and life.

This instalment, however, is the black sheep younger brother of the Crow family – you know, the younger brother that smells bad and killed a guy once.

 Starring Edward Furlong (Terminator 2), The Wicked Prayer is low-rent –  like abandoned trailer, minimum wage, on parole -low. Set in a polluted and ravaged mining town, the first peoples and the workers at the mine are locked in a deadly conflict.

To make matters worse, as with so many small towns, the local satanists are stirring up the superstitious public. The satanists are lead by the hilariously bad Luc Crash (David Boreanaz). David, I love you. You were Angel on Buffy and no one can take that from you. Clearly, however, the hairdresser, costume designer and script writer on this set had it in for you.

Overall, The Crow: Wicked Prayer has some of the most ear-withering dialogue I’ve heard in my advanced years. Dennis Hopper as the satanic pimp El Niño says, “wild ass props to you AC (antichrist)…” David Boreanaz says, “you are a hiccup …a fart in my gas tank.”

Tara Reid as the prostitute Lola says, “You’ll just be a worthless punk and I’ll be a piece of white trash.” Amen, Ms. Reid, testify…

Words are important to me and these words were very, very …er, bad.

Directed by Lance Mungia, The Crow: Wicked Prayer isn’t without moments of interest. You can’t really go wrong with the core Crow concept. When Jimmy (Furlong) transforms himself into the iconic Crow, he uses a discarded Sharpie in his ravaged trailer. Apropos.

Furlong seems a genuinely tortured soul, every slurred word and stagger working perfectly with his character and his story. I believed the performance. As well, there are some really cool personalities in this movie: Danny Trejo (Desperardo) and singer Macy Gray.

All of that said, The Crow: Wicked Prayer commits an unforgivable sin. It disrespects the great Dennis Hopper. He deserved better.

Come to think of it, so do we.

* *

99 minutes

Rated R for eye-gouging violence, blood, drugs, profane and puerile dialogue and David Boreanaz in a mesh blouse