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A Goth’s Month in Review: April 2012

by on 2012/04/30

 Lately, Mr. Renders and I have been spending unusual amounts of time at a local comic book shop.

I like it there. There are ironic t-shirts, fellow outcasts, loads of graphic novels, toys and some of the worst music I’ve ever heard.

(Really, kudos unnamed comic book store, you have the most uncanny ability to select all that is truly sonically awful. Although I do owe you a debt of gratitude for introducing me to the Kirby Krackle song, “Booty Do Math.”)

I’ve always been fond of comic book stores since I was but a young brat with a pocketful of babysitting money for Bazooka gum and funny books. For me, was always Mad Magazine, Scrooge McDuck and Richie Rich.

Perhaps it is in this Grushenka origin story, we discover the roots of my deep-seated sarcasm and love of money.

This month we did battle with comic book adaptations and we won. Especially me! Blamo! Pow! I did my requisite eight reviews, and I passed a difficult professional certification (that included math) all in one month. Now that’s superheroic. To me.

(All for you, Scrooge McDuck).

Here’s my favourite, surprise, disappointment, least liked and film I’d most like to turn a comic book blurred eye to based on the other half of’s dynamic duo.

Wanted (2008) on 2012/04/22

Wanted is important to me. It is, in fact, as integral to my film collection and my life as Zack Snyder’s 300. I wrote on this blog that I keep 300 carefully filed in my movie library like someone might store away canned peaches for a coming Apocalypse.

“If 300 is the canned peaches, then Wanted is the emergency beef jerky.”

Elektra (2010) on 2012/04/21

“I know Elektra was almost universally derided. There is one person, however, who disagrees. It is my favourite angry teenage girl. She turned to me at breakfast this week and without hint of a sneer, said, “I love this movie.”

“That’s enough for me.”

Whiteout (2009) on 2012/04/07

“Each of the two stars I am giving Whiteout are for the lovely, courageous Beckinsale because she acted her frozen ass off in Whiteout. But the rest of her Antarctica crew let her down. And by let her down, I mean, sent her off on an ice floe to die…”

The Crow: Wicked Prayer (2005) on 2012/04/23

“I so love The Crow franchise, I’ve said so on this site. The first in the film series continues to be a touchstone of my film collection and life.

“This instalment, however, is the black sheep younger brother of the Crow family – you know, the younger brother that smells bad and killed a guy once.”

Show Me
RED (2010) on 2012/04/16

“Now let me rest my weary bones on the familiar crutch of comparison. If you enjoyed Midnight Run, Mission: Impossible, Mr. and Mrs. Smith, National Lampoon’s Vacation, Ocean’s Eleven (2001), or even The Wrath of Khan, you will almost certainly thank me for recommending RED. It’s The Expendables for the hormone-balanced set.”

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