A Little Bit Zombie (2012)
“Tactical bacon!”
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We did our usual Canadian Thanksgiving tradition thing this weekend. Our second turkey dinner was the oven (we did our test pilot turkey a few weeks earlier), a black and white sci-fi movie (Ed Wood’s Bride of the Monster) at the ready, a blazing fire, and a dining room table littered with alien-looking, lumpy squashes, Hacker Renders suggested we wrap up the evening with A Little Bit Zombie.
He’s been raving about this Canadian comedic horror film for days, with the same kind of insistence and repetition that a zombie might mention, “braaaains.”
Being the stubborn person I am, I demurred, frankly put off by the putrescently bad DVD cover art. No, not the one I selected just there, the other one. You’ll understand when you see it.
Hacker Renders ignored my whiny objections and quietly slipped the Blu-Ray into the waiting PlayStation. I was too sluggish from the turkey to launch an effective counter-defensive.
Turns out all of my nay-saying was just plain wrong. So very. Criminally wrong. Hacker Renders was right. So very. This Canadian movie, made for a scant $1.9-million, is simply incredible. Funny, nasty, naughty and scary.
About the stark terror and pure horror that is pending nuptials – from the stupid wedding favours to the ridiculous outfits – I knew it had me when the insufferable bride-to-be Tina (Crystal Lowe) produced her lop rabbit “Muffins” for her hapless fiance and human resources manager Steve (Kristopher Turner) to smooch during their trip to cottage country.
I was further hooked when I saw Max (Stephen McHattie) blast through hordes of zombies with a shotgun and then bellow “Tactical bacon!” He ordered his sidekick Penelope Pendleton (Emilie Ullerup) to fetch the canned bacon (that is a really, real thing) with the 10-year shelf life. Magical.
See? It made me laugh and I learned something important. Mmmm. Tactical bacon.
What a great, great, great film. Solid performances, even from the supporting characters like be-muscled Craig (Shawn Roberts) and Steve’s sister Sarah (Kristen Hager), witty, satirical script, good pacing, a glorious celebration of meat-eating, and ZOMBIES! – what more could a girl want for her after-turkey glow?
Even Miss_Tree, my favourite teenager, eyes normally glued to her smartphone, adored this film. Normally not one to exude enthusiasm for films lovingly hand-selected by grown ups, woke up the next day with the words, “That movie was pretty great. ” High praise, indeed.
Well deserved. I hope hordes of fellow turkey-addled fan girls and boys get a chance to see this amazing Canadian horror film.
* * * *
87 minutes
Rated 14A for frank depictions of foot massages, girls wrestling in bathing suits, a platter of wild critter brains and public urination
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