A Goth’s Month in Review: October 2012

This month I got spooky – well, spookier – on the cheap. I stalked discount bins, preyed on stragglers in the public domain, and targeted unattended movies on Crackle.

I wedged these movies in between fall drives, our annual family scare-a-thon at Saunder’s Farm in Munster, Ont., several turkey dinners, and the greatest Hulk Hands, Nerf weapons, Mjölnir Thor hammer battle the Earth has ever seen.

I got to hang out a lot with the immortal Bela Lugosi, watched a battle in a diner surrounded by asshole angels, and was suitably impressed by some homegrown zombies.

So for all you frugal frightsters out there, here’s my favourite, surprise, disappointment, least-liked, and Canadian psychothriller from the Gomez to my Morticia.

“Sic gorgiamus allos subjectatos nunc.”

Favourite
A Little Bit Zombie (2012) on 2012/10/07

* * * *

“What a great, great, great film. Solid performances, witty, satirical script, good pacing, a glorious celebration of meat-eating, tactical bacon and ZOMBIES! – what more could a girl want for her after-turkey Thanksgiving glow?”
.

Surprise
The Gorilla (1939) on 2012/10/21

* * *

“I am about to say something I’ve never said about anything, ever. Here goes: The Gorilla was a hoot. A hoot. There, I said it. I will probably never say something like that again, ever.

“Don’t think, just watch The Gorilla. It is a hoot. Yes, you heard me.”

Disappointment
Legion (2009) on 2012/10/08

* * *

“The actors don’t have much to do except scream, cry and generally have a horrible time. These folks are just there to fry up on the filthy griddle of that desert diner. And we get to watch. If I wanted to watch people having a miserable time, I’d wander over to the nearest shopping mall or peek into some select suburban windows.”

Least-Liked
The Human Monster (1939) on 2012/10/14

* * *

“Worst still, Dr. Orloff uses a home for the blind as his base of operations. Worse, worse still he experiments on the poor basket-weaving folks who live there, using electroshock therapy. Worse, worse, worse still his henchman Jake (Wilfred Walter) is a lurching, flailing monster in a cheap Halloween fright mask, with a lumpy pillow stuffed under his flannel shirt.”

Show Me
Pontypool (2008) on 2012/10/23

* * * *

“Burgess and McDonald have crafted something entertaining and intelligent, insightful and enigmatic all at once. It’s suspense for linguaphiles, a giddy mashup of drama, philosophy, semantics, and semiotics, yet exemplifies the adage ‘less is more.'”