Decoys 2: Alien Seduction (2007)

“What? Don’t you like what you see?”

* *

When we last saw Luke Callahan (Decoys‘ Corey Sevier), he was . . . no wait, hang on. Now he’s somewhere totally different, and believes his adventure was simply a delusion.

Or does he?

Duhn-duhn-duuuhhh!

For all we know, he may be right, for the enemies have also changed. Suddenly they’re hypnotists as well as bodacious aliens out to reproduce with all of the college boys they can ensnare.

Back as a nemesis is Kim Poirier (2004‘s Dawn of the Dead), masquerading as a doctor, and shadowing him because he’s somehow “different”. Nobody else from the prior movie returns, but we get two new names in smaller roles: Tobin Bell (The Quick and the Dead) and Dina Meyer (Starship Troopers).

There’s also a new group of horny young freshmen and their “just a friend” female in tow. In fact, the only one of them who makes an impression is the latter, pretty much because she isn’t male.

I suspect that most of the audience for this direct-to-video sequel will be quibbling about the “realism” — or not — of its fake-ish effects. And yet the dearth of acting ability is even more of a distraction.

Unlikable protagonists, poorly written, and half-heartedly brought to life, they force the superior minor roles off to waste on the story’s sidelines. Their sad MacGuffin of conquering coeds, recording, and ranking them fails in contrast to Sevier’s part, which is actually more complex and promising than in the first video.

Instead, we get a kind of cross-breeding of Revenge of the Nerds and Splice. Except dumber. And with apparently little awareness of the line between exploitation and camp. The spare toplessness and lesbian kissing doesn’t compensate for the idiocy.

I realize the original Decoys was not exactly a classic. It was, however, what one might call dumb fun. Unfortunately, this follow-up is dumb, but not a lot of fun.

* *

Rated 14A (Canada) / R (United States)

94 minutes